Four Years Old

This little man recently turned 4.  It's hard to believe.  He really enjoyed his birthday, and this year he understood how these things go.  He was excited!

He enjoyed a pool party with his cousins:

And Nana made these awesome minion cupcakes, which he loved:

He's been home 1 1/2 years now.  He has adjusted so well!  His speech is improving all the time.  He has therapy only once a week during the summer, but we are still seeing progress.  He can now say lots of single words, although combining words is still difficult. 

 He had his first round of swimming lessons in June.  It was a little surreal watching him.  If you have forgotten, he was terrified of baths and standing water when he first came home.  He has come so far!  He now loves baths, and he loves being in water (although, he wasn't too thrilled with the swimming lessons themselves).  He decided to potty train back in March, and he has done fabulously with that.  He basically never has accidents, practically from the beginning.  My happy littlest son is doing just fine.

One Year - Gyunay's 1st year home

One year ago today, I carried Gyunay out of the orphanage forever.  A staff member poured water on the steps, and Nathaniel and I walked through it.  (They explained that it's a Bulgarian custom for good luck.)  Gyunay was understandably scared. We were nervous, relieved, and anxious to get him back to the apartment.  We were praying that he would learn to love us.  Nathaniel went all over Sofia looking for soup, because it was lunch time and they told us that he always had soup for lunch.  The one thing they specifically said he was never given - pork - was the first thing he ate for us that first lunch in the apartment.  He picked the ham out of my salad and ate it all!

When we got Gyunay, we were just starting to see glimpses of his happy and mischievous nature.  He was unsure about us and everything new around him.  He was also pale, with thin, scraggly hair and an uncertain smile.  He had no idea how to walk up or down stairs.  He had no idea that "Mama" and "Dada" weren't just our names.  He had no concept of danger, whether from cars or ovens or strange animals.

1 year ago - see how unsure he is?

Now, he's a vivacious, happy, full member of our crazy family.  He loves having 2 big brothers and a big sister to pester.  He had never been around animals before; now he plays with the dog and chickens regularly.  He's a mama's boy who also loves his daddy dearly.  He's put on about 6 lbs, and about that many inches.  

Today

When we got Gyunay, we obviously knew that he had one arm.  We also knew that he had had past lung problems, was a very early preemie, had only started eating solid foods a few months  after he turned 2, could say a few syllables but essentially no words or phrases (just "no" "Mama" "da" (yes)  "Dada" and "more"), and was developmentally delayed due to institutionalism.  Now we know that his lungs are fine, and he can eat, run, and climb stairs like a champ.  He still has delays, and we now know that his speech issue isn't just a delay but a disability, probably apraxia of speech.  We also know that he will overcome this.  In his referral, it said that he was a fighter and a biter.  He is, and so much more!  He doesn't bite very often now, but he does pull hair something awful when he's mad.  He can throw a tantrum like a typical toddler, but he also bounces back really fast into his happy self.

None of us can imagine life without him.  He is so greatly loved by all of us, and he loves us all fiercely.  He knows he belongs with us.  He fits right in with all of his grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.  He charms people everywhere we go, and although he loves others' attention, he sticks close to his family.

We still have milestones to work on - speech, potty training, learning to share.  He's 3 and a half years old.  He still acts more like a two-year-old, developmentally speaking, but he's come such a long way from where he was!  We knew he would thrive with our family, and he has.  He's amazed us so many times.  This is a kid who can conquer obstacles with a smile on his face.



"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:12

Happy New Year's Day!

I'm a bit late on posting any pictures from Christmas, but today is the eighth day of Christmas, so I'm still within the Christmas season!

This little man enjoyed his first Christmas.  He especially loved his backpack, which he is still wearing for hours each day.  Despite everything being new and different, he did great and really enjoyed himself.

As usual, family pictures are a challenge for us!

I loved cuddling with these little guys in a quieter moment!

7 Months Home Update

It's been a while since I've done an update, so here's a 7-month update.   He has transitioned to our family so well!  He's so affectionate and happy.  Remember how he used to be terrified of baths?  Now he loves to take a bath, and he doesn't even fuss when having his hair washed or if he gets water in his face.  He also used to be very nervous about leaving the house, but now he loves to go places.  He is very attached to all of us, especially me. 

Today, he had his first dental check-up.  It went really well.  He was nervous, but he let her clean and even floss his teeth.  No cavities!  Oh, and he loves to brush his teeth so much now that when the dentist gave him his new toothbrush, he wanted to go into the bathroom there and brush his teeth again.  Needless to say, he charmed the staff at the office.

Gyunay's speech is still not there.  He can say a few recognizable words, but he generally does not speak, or he makes noises that do not really correspond to the word he's trying to say.  Then again, he will surprise us sometimes and say a word that we don't expect.  Most of the "words" he says are not really full words, but the first syllable of the word, like "ka" for "car" and "ba" for ball, baby, etc.  That said, he recently learned to say my niece's name, and he loves to shout "An-na-belle!" now.  He understands about 90% of what is said to him, and he is a great communicator even without being very verbal, so communication is not a problem for us most of the time.  He starts speech at the local preschool next week.  Now that he is 3, he qualifies for the services offered there, including preschool.  We are not sending him to preschool at this time, though.  He's just not ready for that yet.  We don't see a need to rush him, though, since we don't plan on starting kindergarten until he's 6.  So for now, he's going to have 2 speech sessions a week, and in September we plan to start attending story time at the library. 

He is still in diapers, and I doubt that will change any time soon.  We aren't pushing that, either.  He tried to sit on the potty a few times, but it caused such great anxiety that we are not going to worry about that for now.

He has learned to actually play as well.  He loves to play in his toy kitchen.  He also likes to play in the sand/water table a lot, and outdoors in general.  He has no use for puzzles.  Although he can do simple wood puzzles, he isn't interested in them at all.  He likes to play with his little people, cars, and balls, too.  He still rides his wheely bug through the house.  He's also developed a real love for play-dough recently. 

We've been trying to teach him colors and counting.  He doesn't know his colors at all.  I was unsure about that for a while, but now I'm certain: he doesn't get those yet.  He does understand the concept of counting, but he can only say "two," and uses it repeatedly, so it's hard to tell if he could actually count if he wanted to.  He has learned most of his body parts, and he will point to them when I say them.  He loves to look at books, and he will actually listen to some short ones now.

Physically, he does great.  He can do just about anything a two-handed kid his age can do.  He has to do some things a bit differently, but he copes very well.  He's super strong.  He's also very healthy in general.  He's also a good sleeper, which this mama really appreciates.

 

Overall, he is doing fantastic.  We are over the moon in love with him. 

 

Cheesy Spaghetti Squash Casserole

I made this really good cheesy spaghetti squash casserole today.  The recipe that was the inspiration was here: http://www.skinnytaste.com/2013/01/baked-spaghetti-squash-and-cheese.html, but as usual, I changed a lot of things.  Here is what I did:

Ingredients:
1 small onion, diced
1 medium zucchini, grated
1 spaghetti squash, cooked and shredded
1 c milk
1/2 c water
1 c grated cheddar cheese
1 T butter
salt, pepper
1/4 c or so flour

Cook your spaghetti squash and shred it.  Then, melt butter in skillet and saute onion for about 5 minutes.  Add flour, mix well, then add zucchini, salt, pepper, milk and water.  Stir over medium heat until thickened.  Add cheese and stir to melt.  In 13" x 9" pan, combine sauce with spaghetti squash.  Bake at 350 for about 20-25 minutes.  Nathaniel, Gyunay, and I loved this.  (The older kids think squash is about the grossest thing ever.)

And check out our super three-year-old!  It's hard to believe that he's already three.  He was confused by all of the birthday hoopla, even though we kept it pretty simple and low-key for him.  Still, he handled it really well.  He had his "closed" expression quite a bit, but he still interacted and didn't get  upset over anything.  He even smiled off and on!  Since the last time we were at my parents' house, I was at the hospital for Malachi's appendectomy for a couple of days, he worried if Nathaniel or I went out of sight.  We expected him to be nervous, and he was, but he did enjoy himself during the visit, and he was genuinely happy to see all of the relatives.

 

I shared this recipe at the blog hop:  http://chickadeehomestead.com/2015/07/homestead-blog-hop-38.html

Celebration Weekend

This weekend, we had a wonderful time meeting other families with children adopted from Bulgaria.  This particular group has been meeting for 5 years, so many of the families know each other although they come from all over the country.  We were lucky in that the reunion is only about an hour and a half from our house.   We also took the opportunity to stay with my sister-in-law's family, as they recently moved to the area.  Here the boys are enjoying popsicles:

 

And these pictures are from the reunion:

The bungy was a great success, and the operator was just fabulous with all of the kids.

 

Overall, there were about 120 people from 27 families present.  We look forward to meeting with this group again next year!  There were kids of all ages and abilities, and it was nice to speak to other parents as well.  We were thrilled to find such an affirming, welcoming community, and as Gyunay gets older, I'm sure he will appreciate knowing other kids with backgrounds similar to his own. 

 

As a side note, another mom asked if he had been home 6 to 8 months.  I replied that it had been 5 months, and she pointed out that she thought it was close to that because it takes about that long for the orphanage upbringing to sort of "wear off".  Gyunay was appropriately cautious with the new people, and he wanted to be held by me a lot during the weekend, so that showed how attached he is now.  He did really enjoy giving other kids hi-fives, and after a day and a half, he felt comfortable enough to run around with another little girl his age who was adopted just a few months ago as well (although she is from China, not Bulgaria).  Most of the kids were older than him, and they liked saying hi to the "little guy". 

3 Months Home

Well, this past month has shown that the "honeymoon stage" is over.  We had a very difficult week last week.  We were prepared; all our adoption education told us that our little man would most likely try to push us, especially me, away, and he tried pretty hard last week.  My two-year-old tornado tried to get into everything and do every dangerous thing he could think of - all at warp speed.  Jumping on the couch? Grabbing at the burners of a hot stove? Pulling the dog's ears? Climbing Furniture? Trying to open the oven?  Trying to get at the (child proofed) electrical outlets?  Check on all, with a steady dose of physical aggression towards me.  Yet, when Nathaniel got home, he was fine.  He's mainly tested me, and to a much lesser extent, Lydia.  And, our house has been very child proofed specifically for his safety, so there's only so much danger he can get into.  I was so amazed and thrilled at how Lydia responded to him when he was pulling her hair and poking her in the eye.  She's a bit of a tornado herself, and willing and able to punch anyone who messes with her, but she chose to be gentle with Gyunay, and to model to him gentle touch with my help, over and over.  She never hit him, which is itself a huge victory!  And now he's back to being her happy shadow, giving her abundant hugs and huge grins.  As for him and me, he's doing so much better now.  Our days have calmed down.  He's trying to say, "I love you."  I know he will still push me sometimes, but he seems to be settling into the fact that I'm not going anywhere, and he's much calmer.   He obviously loves all of us. 

 

He started therapy this week.  He had speech first, and today a developmental interventionist.  Honestly, neither one is doing anything that Nathaniel and I don't already do with him, but I still think it's good for him.  He enjoys playing with the visitors, but he's obviously still checking in with me the whole time.  The therapist today was blown away by his understanding of English, and she made my day when she said, "You can tell he's really attached to you.  You're his anchor."

 

My heart overflows with love for all of my kids.  This little guy is so firmly planted in our family that no one can imagine life without him. 

 

 

 

You have been told, O man, what is good, and what the Lord requires of you: Only to do the right and to love goodness, and to walk humbly with your God.  -Micah 6:8 

2 Months Home

Gyunay loves putting on his sister's shoes, including these rain boots.


It's hard to believe that it's been two months since we brought Gyunay home.   He has done so well that it feels like he has been here much longer.  I read tons of adoption and attachment books, and we readied ourselves for the worst, but this happy little guy has adjusted remarkably well.  We have started bringing him out in public more, like to church and Walmart, and he consistently shows that he knows he is with us, part of our group.  He "checks in" with me visually throughout the day, and he is appropriately shy when he meets someone new.  He's doing better about the shoes issue, and although baths are still hard, they are somewhat better, too.  (At least, he seems very unhappy rather than just terrified.)  He has some "orphanage" behaviors, but nothing too severe.  We have had some feeding/sleeping issues, but really, he is doing so well.  I know that he may have some rough times in the future, but I am confident that we can work through them together.  The older kids adore him, and although Lydia had a hard adjustment to not being the "tiniest and youngest," all of them now get along like your average siblings.  We still have reminders of how little Gyunay knows of the world, and how often things are "firsts" for him.  He is starting to say a few words besides Mama and Dada: Elijah, car, tickle, choo-choo, poop, diaper, hi, bye-bye, nigh-nigh (for goodnight). (And once he said "cuddle" as plain as day, but never since.)  He says "buh" for many things, including ball, bus, bird, baby.  He makes a "guh" sound with the dog, probably an attempt at either dog or good, since we often say "good dog" when we pet Katie together.  He does the sign for "eat".  He also makes the cutest sound for "squirrel."   He also has a tendency to say buh or da for anything in general, whether it starts with those sounds or not.  We have a therapist coming to do his evaluation for speech and other therapies this week, so we are hoping to help him make some progress with the help of some good people. 

As far as his physical abilities, he is really quite amazing.  He loves to tuck small objects under his little arm.  He has good dexterity with his fingers.  He has made adjustments to do whatever he wants to do with just the one arm, and some of his solutions are quite creative.  We have introduced him to stairs, and we have been working with him on going up and down.  He had no fear of stairs, so he just pitched himself rather head first down them, and if we had not been there to catch him, it would have been really scary.  Now, he does fairly well going up stairs while holding either a hand or rail.  Going down is still a little scary, even while holding on to him, but it is improving. 

His overall health has been good.  His lungs look good, which was a relief due to issues he had at birth.  We've almost got him caught up on immunizations, too.  He's a very busy and affectionate toddler, and we couldn't be more in love with him!

One Month Home

It's hard to believe that one month ago, we brought Gyunay home.  He and I have mostly stayed home this past month, letting him get used to home and family.  He's really doing better than we anticipated.

 

We are catching him up on his immunizations, and we are doing what we can to insure that his health is good.  We are also having him evaluated for speech and occupational therapy with the early intervention available here. 

 

At home, he is more and more comfortable.  He is expressing likes and dislikes, and he has temper fits like the toddler he is.  He also is starting to push boundaries more, which is expected, and he throws loud but brief fits when he doesn't get what he wants. We've had some hitting and biting incidents, but we have been quickly and carefully addressing those issues, so there have been less of them the last couple of days.  Most of the time, though, he is happy.  He calls Nathaniel "Dada" and me "Mama", and today for the first time, he said, "Hi, Elijah" when Elijah came upstairs after a long period of being in the basement.  He babbles a lot.  He does understand quite a bit of English, even though he doesn't really speak.

 

Bath and poopy diaper changes are still screaming issues, every time.  He is very afraid of new things, which can be anything from a new place (elevator, doctor's waiting room) to just being outside in a different part of the yard than he has been before.  He feels most comfortable in the sling in unusual places, though, and he does always want me around, so he is getting attached well.  He loves to follow his brothers and sister around.  He craves their attention.  He's also always happy to see Nathaniel come home from work, and he comes up to him for cuddling now.  He gives hi fives and waves bye bye.  He is very diligent in letting me know when the dog needs food or let inside or outside.  He has also stopped being rough with her and is very gentle in petting her.  Overall, he is really doing so well.

On Food

Food issues are very common with kids from "hard places" like orphanages.   Some of the advice from experts includes that only mom and dad give food to the new child for a long period of time, perhaps even six months.  Another is to try to give food whenever they ask for it.  This can sometimes be problematic, such as if a child makes himself sick from overeating.  As for us, our food issues have been fairly mild, but it is obvious that they are there.

Gyunay is doing very well.  At first, he would eat anything and everything in front of him, and he asked to eat at least once an hour, every hour, all day, and often even if he had just ate.  We had a few instances of overeating, but we seem to be doing much better with that now.  He still eats often, but not as often, and I just serve small portions.  One good point, though, is that he is starting to show preferences.  Now, most parents would not be thrilled that their son handed back his bowl of broccoli, but we were because it means that he feels comfortable enough to know that if he doesn't want that food, more food really is available for him.  He seems to trust that we will feed him, which although it seems obvious to us, it wasn't obvious to him at first.

 

So, what does he eat?  So far, he seems to like:

eggs: fried, hardboiled, or scrambled

fruit: strawberries, bananas, oranges, apples

any flavor applesauce

yogurt: plain, vanilla, mixed with blueberries or applesauce

cooked, pureed pumpkin (not even sweetened!)

cheesy grits

pasta

soup: vegetable, split pea and barley, chili

noodle medley

pancakes

crackers, bread, rolls (with butter), cornbread

guacamole

olives

pork

meatballs

green beans

muffins: pumpkin and orange coconut

cheese: cheddar, Bulgarian, Colby jack, mozzarella

cooked carrots and onions

 

What he doesn't like: broccoli, chocolate pudding, peas (although he will eat one or two peas, so maybe he'll acquire the taste)

 

 

 

Exploring the Great Outdoors

 

It was so nice this weekend that I was able to get Gyunay outdoors to explore.  We quickly found that the backyard was too uneven and muddy for him to walk well, so we headed out front.  He loved walking around the concrete pad.  Lydia was playing with the stroller.  I asked if she wanted to push her brother around for a few minutes.  She was ecstatic.  "I'm a REAL big sister!"

 

 

I don't think Gyunay was thrilled to be in the stroller, but he didn't fuss.  I let her push him around for about 10 minutes, then freed him.  He was happy to walk around in big circles on the concrete.

 

 

 

He's really fond of the big kids.  Here he is climbing over to hold Lydia's hand. 

Figuring it all out

We've been home for just a few days, so we are still figuring it all out.  Gyunay went from crying panic when we took off his shoes, to taking them off himself and running barefoot through the house.  We figured out pretty quickly that the only time his shoes were off in the orphanage was when it was nap time or bedtime.  He's starting to realize that we are barefoot people, and that it's ok.

 

He was also very afraid of tooth brushing, which we think was a new thing for him, but he now lets us brush his teeth without fussing.  He doesn't spit yet, but hey, it's progress.  It only took 5 years to get Lydia to brush her teeth without fussing.

 

 

He looks for us, and calls out for "Dada" when he leaves the room.  He will also call for me if I'm out of the room now.  He babbles a lot, mostly "bababa" but sometimes "nanana".  He's a very happy boy, generally. 

 

He still is scared of wet wipes and washrags, but today at lunch he held out his hand for me to wipe it off, and for the first time we ended a meal without tears. 

 

The real terror that will probably take a while to overcome is the bath.  Sheer panic.  We're going to try and give him a bath in the kitchen sink tonight.  It may not help, but it's worth a try.

 

Our hearts overflow.